Thought of the week (V): About names (II)

Easy question: in order to be president of the U.S., must one have a stupid name when you come to think about it?

I was talking with... someone, definitely, about when I discovered that "Dick" Cheney was a name (I told you guys here) when... this someone pointed out something I didn't think about:

BILL Clinton.

Hum... is a good thought, isn't it?

George BUSH

The freak is this?

Well, let me say that in Spain right now is very famous Ana Botella, Anne Bottle when I talk to friends (in Spanish)

The whole speech sucks sooo much that has been trending topic in Spain for days!! Amazing, huh? Anyway,  the best part of the speech (and the TT) has definitely been the "having a relaxing cup of café con leche in Plaza Mayor" (1:40 in the video). Actually I already showed you that part in the previous post. There are many many jokes about it... but well, I guess I will do a reference to the previous post in this blog, and put you a whole bunch of Spanish expressions LITERALLY translated into English. LITERALLY. Please, don't forget it:

So what's the conclusion I come up with? Well, that I guess I won't care so much about names from now on. Do you do?

By the way, even if you don't care and it's not like I enjoy talking about myself here, I feel like I must say that I've been admitted to the Swedish B2.2 level here in Barcelona, which is more than I actually expected (and actually more than what I was said). I'm so happy! So guess, I'll try to recover a little bit my level in that beautiful language. Now it's time to find a French teacher!

Why do I tell you this? Do you actually care? It's not like I say many people... hum, nearly anyone that I write this blog, I just do it to have fun and learn. It's not like I like telling you my life here either (for instance I don't talk about the nice bike excursion I will do next we... oh, shit!) Nah, you understand. But if you somehow read me... Well, then just look forward to seeing some posts in any of these languages now! haha. As a very good friend of mines says: this is great.

This post is the milk!

But what the milks? Provided that it's been a couple of months since I wrote here for the last time, I guess I should have plenty of topics to choose in order to come back here with style! For instance, this summer I had again a super nice experience with white courtains in the UK like the ones in Sweden... However, I find myself about to talk to you about milk! But what milks have I done with my life? I used to had style here in my dear blog...

Milk! Have I said hello? Hello!!! Long time no see you!

So. Last year in Sweden... hum, two years ago, in Sweden (wait, I have to leave you a sec and cry) (...) (Ok guys, I'm back) As I was saying, it was one year and a half ago when I talked from time to time with my very appreciated German friend Jonas about expressions in our respective languages. And it turns out that those conversations clearly inspired the idea for this post, so I write this in memorial of such discussions. The milk! How much I miss them!

THE MILK - Spanish C2++++ level lessons  

But what's milk here in Spain? That white liquid that many of us drink in the mornings? Well, you should know that there is nothing quite like eeeh...  relaxing cup of café con leche!!! (coffee with... milk) (in Plaza Mayor)

But this is not the point. Well yes, it is, milk is what it is and that's milk. But Spanish milk is this and... much more! Let me introduce you all the meanings I can think about the word "milk". Sorry for the messy translations. I actually find these expressions quite hard to translate, I hope that they make sense at least.

Go at all milk (Spanish: ir a toda leche) -> Go very fast, at full speed.
Go shitting milks (Vete cagando leches) -> Leave as fast as you can. e.g. "You bastard, go shitting milks from here if you don't wanna die!"
I shit in the milk (me cago en la leche) -> A way of cursing. e.g. "I lost the plane! I shit in the milk! What do I do now?"
Not whatever nor milks (ni lo que sea ni leches) -> Not whatever nor any other stupidity you might say. Used when we don't want to accept sthg someone says. "Have you cleaned your room?" "No" "Why?" "Well, I had to procrastinate..." "Not procrastinating nor milks! Clean your room now"
The milk of [introducenoun] (La leche de [introducirsustantivo]) -> A huge bunch of [introducenoun]
And one milk! (¡Y una leche!) -> No way! e.g. "John, clean your room!" "And one milk!" (and he goes on doing whatever he was doing)
Milks! (¡leches!)-> Fuck! Expresses complaint.
Milk! (¡leche!) -> Oh god! Expresses amazement
The milk! (¡la leche!) -> What the...?!/ The fuck!   Expresses surprise or lament. Slightly different from the previous one, though still it makes no sense at all. To be more accurate: the milk of non sense.
This is the milk (Esto es la leche) -> This is very cool. e.g. Word of chu is the milk
To give yourself a milk (Darse una leche) -> To crash (e.g. with your car), to fall (e.g. to the floor). Normally in a very cruel, gore and spectacular way. e.g. He gave himself a milk with his car.
To give milks to each other (Darse de leches) -> To hit each other, to punch each other. e.g. They gave milks to each other and ended up with a very funny purple face.
He has very bad milk (Él tiene muy mala leche) -> He is really bad tempered.
What a bad milk you have! (¡Qué mala leche que tienes!) -> What an arse hole you are! What very bad intentions you have!
You are the milk! (Eres la leche) -> You're super cool! / You're super nice! e.g. David is the milk of guy. And very humble too.

We have 15 meanings!! That's the milk of meanings!! Any more suggestions? I'm open minded, it's been a long time since I last wrote here but you should not have forgotten that I'm a guy of the milk! haha

Hope you can use them! And I mean in English haha!  (I did it very seldom in Sweden, but it was so funny) This was the milk of post, wasn't it?!  Write you soon!

A relaxing cup of café con leche in "La plaza Mayor" in Madrid

P.D. Ok, this post might have to do with the absolute trending topic this week in Spain: the speech of Ana Botella, "Ana Bottle" amongst friends (bottle of milk), to the International Olympic Committee. She's the mayor of Madrid... and the protagonist of the couple of videos I've put here today. The perfect proof of how much we Spaniards suck at English. And oh yes, I have many more proofs than just this! 

The "give back 1 €cent" news

Quite a messy week... but since I'm moving to Barcelona, I guess quite understandable!! Anyway, as I don't know if you're quite interested about this, I will be quite direct from now on: do you like non sense news?

Because I loooove (love love) absurd news. They provide a funny topic to talk about, and allow you to break a bit the speaking topics routine. Who doesn't know the Belgian driver who went to Zagreb by error? (REALLY, if you don't know it, the story is completely worth it,  WAY FUNNIER than it is this [great] blog post in fact)

When we Spaniards travel abroad, we many times see things well done. In such cases, we tend to say something like "Spain is different", because here these things are done differently. Normally when we see well done things, ye. And now, I'm gonna cry for a minute, wait.

Done. So. This news I'm gonna talk about today (Spanish URL, srry) will allow you to understand this "different Spain" (you can put again this post in the category "spot the differences" I'm doing lately) Because dear readers, this news I'm gonna translate you today is the "1 eurocent story"

Visualize it, ok?

Spanish state claims for a cent which had been overpaid to unemployed woman

In the claim letter, she was reminded that if she didn't pay to the bank before a month passed, she would have to pay an extra 20% fee

A young woman from Tortosa has been involved in a bureaucratic mess because she had been paid one extra cent than corresponding to her unemployment benefit.

Following the common procedure in such situations, she received a registered letter claiming the devolution of this extra cent. "When I read it, "- she says - "not only I discovered the state requiring me this cent that, btw, I hadn't realized; but I also was said that if I didn't pay it back in one month, I would have to pay an extra 20% fee over this cent"

The letter also explained her that after this voluntary refunding period she hadn't done it, it would start the enforced recovery process as stated in the article 32/2 of the royal decree 625/1985.

But this wasn't the end of the process for this cent, because this woman had to go to the employment office to give evidence that this debt was already paid off.

"But once there, I was said that without a previous appointment, I could not give any receipt nor do anything", so she had to come back other day to solve the problem.

"I guess this is the normal procedure for this matters" - she concludes - "but something must not been working right in this system if they need to spend a probably higher amount of money for asking back a sad cent"

Asterix and the 12 tasks. Do you remember this one?

3:20 am: How things shouldn't be done (aka how things are done in Spain)

This post is set to be published at 3:20 am, on Saturday while I'm in Tarragona (where I don't have Internet access). That is, people, I can'T control whatever is going on here! But doing this makes kind of sense, just to understand what I was done last week.  It's a vindicatory hour. So I'm guessing, I should provide you with some context, don't you agree? (Not accepting "no, I'm not interested at all David. Shut up" as an answer, sorry. I can't listen to you. Remember, I'm in Tarragona, happy without Internet!!!)

Ok, before I get completely crazy lalala. Beyond my usual limit I mean. I have to talk today about my personal life, hope you enjoy it a little bit. So, three weeks ago or so, I attended to a meeting where they explained what the Mars Spanish Mission 0 is, (there is a translate select below in the page at right) and they were asking for volunteers to join them. Keen on astronomy, and with the knowledge and permission of my boss in the internship I'm doing, I applied, since I thought the topic was very cool and might let me vary for a while and work in astronomy related with telecom's.

What do they wanna do? There will be a simulation mission, the Mars Spanish Mission 1 (MSM1), which will simulate some experiments which might take place in Mars when they send a manned mission over there (aka never). Mars Spanish Mission 0 (MSM0) is kind of an "informal" preparation for the MSM1. And what they needed were people for different teams which will work in different areas.

Monegros desert, Saragossa province. Here is were they wanna make the experiments I told you. Actually it's a very nice desert... and it was a forest 2000 years ago (supposedly)

If you are interested in astronomy (as I am), sounds cool huh? So, as I was very interested, I applied and I said I had preference in some groups which had to do with telecom's. They were supposed to answer back and say something on Wed March 20th, as people needed to start doing things the week of the 25th -> 31st. I didn't receive anything, it was alright. But then, on March 26th, at 3:20am (?), I received an e-mail offering me a position supposedly not related with my professional field (??) (telecommunications). And I HAD to answer before 12:00 am of... March, 26th. (???????????????) WHAT? You crazy guys, is that even serious?!?!?!? What if I didn't check the e-mail? Or what? No need to mention the delay from March 20th to the 26th... (but here I wanna think I was kind of the third or fourth choice and when people said no they asked me)

To make a long story short ("David, can you do that? No, you kidding"), I read the e-mail at 11:30 am and  I even didn't answer (although I thought about it until the night). And lucky them (and me?) that I didn't answer, because I'm guessing I could have been very mean in the answer (don't worry, normally I'm just annoying) More than mean, kind of sarcastic if I know myself properly haha. Whatever.

So, this is one example of how things may be done here. 3:20am to be answered at 12am with a delay of 6 days for a position you didn't say you wanted to do. Brilliant, an applause please. I might be repeating myself, but the fact is that I still don't get it, nor some of my friends, sorry. Does it make sense?

Nah. I guess someday I'll speak of the "Vuelva usted mañana" (Please, come back tomorrow) or about the few times I got angry last year in Sweden (guess? Ye, all of them had to do with happy Spaniards)

And I wanna finish with this: I wish you the best of the lucks MSM0 guys (but, with me, you were not professional at all, and I'm really sorry about that)

Falete, Splash and Spanish folklore

Yes yes, I know. This TV show I'm gonna talk about also exists in other countries. A show where famous... proto-famous people, better said... have to jump from the diving board. Yes, really, I know, it does exist.

But in other countries, there is not a person such as Falete. Falete is... well, a person of undetermined sexuality (just play the video I attach for a few secs guys) and one of the maximum exponents of the Spanish folklore that embarrasses me so much, although Falete at least seems to be nice. Seriously, just play the video below for a short while.

And you Spaniards reading me, don't you agree this is amazing? Incredible, the must-see TV event of the last months! At least is the feeling I've had speaking with some of you lately. And I couldn't agree more.

So. I was actually gonna say "Enjoy it!", but I guess it's more accurate to say "Enjoy it?" (the "jump", by the way, it's at 3:30)

Cool, huh? Nah, I will show you some other typical stuff from here. At least you will be able to have fun on us hehe.

Be happy!